5 Ways to Prepare For Grand Theft Auto 5 (Including Studying This Leaked Map of Los Santos)

Grand Theft Auto V is set to release next Tuesday and the question you should be asking yourself right now is “am I prepared?”

If not, then you should probably follow these five steps to help set yourself up for a good time with GTA V.

Step 1: Schedule Days Off

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Why would you even bother coming into work this September 17? No one else will be doing their jobs. Being at work while everyone you know is at home playing possibly one of the best video games titles ever, tears will surely drip down your face. If you have to use the “my grandma died” excuse for the hundredth time, then do so.

But whatever the excuse is, be sure you have another equally as good for October 1. While you’ll probably have already sunk 200 hours trying to locate big foot in the lush forests of Shady Creek, it’ll be time to put everything in your campaign on hold and take to the multiplayer.

Step 2: Stock Up On Essential Healthy Snacks So Your Body Can Thrive

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There is absolutely nothing healthier in the world than Mountain Dew and Doritos. It’s the fuel that gamers live off of and without it, we would all be dead right now. It may be days before you come out of your room, so stock up on as much of this godsend goodness as you can.

But in all seriousness, don’t forget to drink plenty liquids and eat some solids, even if they are just microwave dishes.

Step 3: Say Goodbye to Your Loved Ones

It may be a while before you see any daylight, so it’s wise to say your goodbyes to those you care about, in case you never return. GTA V is about to take over your entire life, so if you do so happen to die from an extended period of play time, then I suggest you leave a good last impression with the ones you love, even if it means singing to them.

But really, it might be good to let your friends know ahead of time that you have this ‘thing’ to do that week in order to cut down on any unwanted phone calls.

Step 4: Play Red Dead Redemption

On a more serious note, if you haven’t played this game yet, then what the hell is wrong with you? If there’s one way you can prepare yourself for GTA V, then playing Red Dead is a must, especially since it has online features. Sure, we can play GTA IV since it’s a GTA game, but in my honest opinion, Red Dead will probably offer you a better and closer experience in terms of the freedom and fun value that GTA V will probably pack. Even Max Payne 3 will offer you a more refined weapon handling system that might feel more similar to GTA V. Plus, no one wants to receive an annoying phone call from their cousin wanting to go Bowling. I’ve always thought GTA IV to be the one of the more boring GTA titles, but that’s all just a matter of opinion. If you want to play GTA IV, go ahead then.

Step 5: Study This Leaked Map of Los Santos

Los Santos is freakin’ huge and you don’t want to get lost. Not only that, but when you finally realize the scope of this game, you’ll want to avoid any meltdowns caused by the overburdening feeling of “what the heck to I do first?”

Luckily, a member of the GTA V sub-reddit (via NeoGAF) has leaked out the full map of Los Santos, the fictional city in which GTA V takes place, from an early copy of the official guide. Upon studying it, you can at least begin to try to wrap your head around how big this game really is.

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And there you have just a few ways to prepare for Grand Theft Auto 5 launching on the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 this September 17.

Any special ways you’ll be preparing for GTA V?

  • Centaurus-201

    Cant wait for this game.. Ill be at front of line for the midnight launch for this one

  • Alex Melendez

    Leaked map? I thought the gta v map was supposed to be bigger than gta 4, san Andreas and red dead redemption combined?

    • JayZero

      it is bigger then all those games

      • Mitch

        I would like to add the word ‘combined’ at the end :)

    • jameslara
    • AtheistMason

      GTA V map = 5x GTA IV map (the following picture shows off 5 GTA IV worlds filled into the world map of GTA V)

      • jaskdavis

        GTA VI will be the size of Just Cause 2 O_o

      • http://www.facebook.com/datkidfromawendaw Clay Johnson

        Los Santos saw some major development!

    • James Mulhall

      Rockstar never said the ENTIRE map will be bigger than IV, SA and RDR. They said the map + interiors and the ocean is bigger than IV, SA and RDR.

      Comparisons aren’t exactly accurate. But we got what we were promised.

      • Katana67

        Yeah, I had thought this pretty early on when they first announced this. I am always very very skeptical of map size claims, even when they’re precise and backed up by square mile figures.

        I hope they’ve substantially expanded the amount of buildings with interiors from GTA IV and even RDR. Liberty City always felt very empty to me because very few buildings had interiors. RDR far less so, because there are far fewer buildings. Even if the interiors are entirely superfluous. Some of the most rewarding exploration experiences I’ve had were just uncovering hidden chapels and such in Oblivion.

        I encountered this with Skyrim. They had said the map would be far larger than Oblivion’s, but I never got that sense of scale as I did with Oblivion. It may have been larger on paper, but the fact that a sizable portion of the map is inaccessible due to being rock-covered mountains sort of negates all size comparisons.

        I have no doubt that the map of GTA V will be excellent. But RDR’s map is pretty damn expansive, which is partly prompted by the fact that your fastest mode of transportation is a horse… But, I still never lose that sense of wonder in RDR’s world. I sure as hell know where everything is, which I don’t like (as a side-effect of non-procedural worlds), but it is a delightful place to explore.

  • AtheistMason
    • Dot

      What is this gif showing?

      • AtheistMason

        The Google Earth-ish Zooming in/out gives you a sense of the size of the map..

        • Timothy David Medric

          And this is for 360/PS 4?

          • AtheistMason

            I’m sorry but I didn’t quite get your question.. Do you mean the platforms the game will be released on? They are Xbox 360 and PS3.

            • Timothy David Medric

              Meant to be PS3. I’m just saying how I’m finding it hard to believe that this game is only for this gen consoles.

  • Kyle Jackson

    I’m preparing by watching vids on the internet about it :( But I did just mod the hell out of a recently bought copy of GTA4 with dlc, so not all bad :D

  • Jerry Kehr

    This game puts me somewhere between joyful and peachy.

    • Timothy David Medric

      Lived that line. Use it at work alot

  • mus1CKFps

    Its safe to say that GTA 5 just may be a new religion for us all can’t wait to play

  • Wrathchildx666x

    Where’s San Fierro and Las Ventures?

    • James Mulhall

      Have you even kept up with any V news?

    • QwietStorm

      In San Andreas.

    • uwantSAM0A

      Awaiting DLC release.

  • pc gamer for life

    This should be on pc. Why is it on these old lame consoles. Do they not know consoles are dying.

    • AtheistMason

      But lots of people will still play on those consoles. I really want a PC version as well, and here’s to hoping they can do their porting job as well as how Volition did to Saints Row the Third.

    • theplantain

      it’s that retarded attitude that makes pc gamers look bad…back to the basement manchild!!

      • pc gamer for life

        You are just jealous. Pc is the best platform. I can run this game at 120 fps on my 2000 dollar pc. Eat that

        • QwietStorm

          No you can’t because it doesn’t exist.

        • WarBroh

          And you’d probably torrent the game too. As a PC gamer I totally understand the delayed launch for PC version. This is the most expensive videogame to produce in history, stands to reason they’re targeting the biggest installed base with the least amount of *relative* piracy which is current gen consoles, there are hundreds of millions out there. They know what they’re doing, kid.

          • Yoloboi

            Wow I am so happy to see you not being annoying as hell when commenting

        • Dot

          But i mean, you wouldn’t really notice 120fps anyway. Don’t our eyes read images at about 30 fps? Besides, we can play on our “lame” consoles at a perfectly decent framerate of 30-60fps and pay 400 dollars or less? I’ll spend the remaining 1600 dollars on fancy clothing or better yet, save it!

        • koloco1980

          Basement manchild confirmed.

    • Asmitty56

      Probably because console is more popular, and most people actually want to play this with friends they actually know? It’s okay I’ll enjoy GTA V for the both of us ;)

  • That guy you might know

    I’ve been preparing myself in my own way.
    I’m going to be all over the Single Player

    And when online starts.
    The storm is coming >_>

    EDIT: My drink will include A&W Root Beer and Cream Soda
    With a few Ice Coffees because ice coffee is happiness

    • Dirtknap

      Root beer and creaming soda, good choice! I’m stocked similarly, along with some energy drinks for an all nighter as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

  • zacflame

    Did those assholes at the gamestop on the top picture bother to consider the people who for some reason buy it on the second day instead?

    • Katana67

      http://www.consoleyourself.com/

      Retro and “hard to find” game store, with 4 stores in the Yorkshire area of the UK.

      I think they’ll live…

  • Gaming2Ghost

    didn’t Sony say you can play the games you bought for ps3 from playstation store on ps4 via cloud? so wouldn’t it work if I bought GTA V now on ps3 and then play it on ps4 via clouds?

  • CoDforever

    Cant wait for this game .. Im def getting it but i think this game is overrated as hell especially when next gen consoles come out .. We wont switch from ps4 to ps3 just to play Gta ( Which i would totally do) Buts its just not possible ..

    • TommyBoy

      You say this game is overrated and yet you have “CoDforever” as a username ¯_(ツ)_/¯ By the way, i’ve seen you troll this site more than a…well, i don’t know but you Sir, troll.

      • CoDforever

        So i cant have cod in my username ? I cant like it ? Fine GTA isnt overrated its perfect you happy now

        • TommyBoy

          Yes…Yes i am “)

          • CoDforever

            Glad i can help :)

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